Because it looks like the Iranian mullahs will continue doing as they damn well please, because the Obama administration is infuriating beyond words in its dealings with terrorists, and because I can…

It’s time foooorr: Fun With the Ayatollah! Play dress-up with everyone’s favorite totalitarian representative of a violent political system masquerading as a religion!

The ayatollah as:
Disney devotee
Francophile
Fatwa waiting to happen
Philosophizer
(Groucho) Marxist
Piratollah
Cross-town rival

Happy Independence Day!

I’m a fan of Sarah Palin, but I hope she doesn’t run in 2012. I’m also a Romney fan, and we know what a short memory the press has. Aware that Palin’s damaged goods after the ravaging media and Hollywood elites put her through last year, how much you wanna bet she suddenly becomes the quirky underdog versus Romney, capitalist tool with a soul as black as night?

Not like it matters. No GOP candidate will get much face time in 2012, with the networks (and any newspaper still in business) so busy trumpeting the glorious achievements of Obama’s first four years. Maybe in 2016… though I’m not as optimistic as Victor Davis Hanson that Palin can grow from a refreshing conservative talker to “a charismatic Margaret Thatcher type heavyweight.”

My bigger concern is the health of the nation’s elite. What if Sarah Palin announces she’ll never run for national office again? With Dubya at home on the ranch and the Republican party in a state of disarray, on whom will our progressive betters loose their bile? I fear we’d more likely see a spike in ulcer-related deaths in California and D.C. than any acknowledgment that Obama is an arrogant statist, Biden’s a horrendous VP, or Democratic Congressmen are at least as dumb as Republicans.

While Boehner, Cantor, and several others repeat a consistent message about prudence and personal responsibility, their fellow Congressmen and governors have better things to do.

The GOP faces long odds at getting a message through the national media in the best of circumstances. And while prominent Republicans keep fooling around? Maybe our problem is that we ask too much. We want our elected officials to govern well and legislate wisely, but who has time for either when you’re juggling an affair? And how is the media supposed to dedicate any time to Republican proposals, with Obama Obama Obama and GOP scandals to chatter about?

If you’re not a member of the UN, you’re not looking to become a member of the UN, you trade with countries indifferent to the blathering of the UN, and your giant communist neighbor watches your back at the UN, it’s conceivable that maybe the UN can’t control your actions.

The sanctions allow for inspection of North Korean cargo, which might have been sort of useful, oh, fifteen years ago.

But the North Koreans have proved to be wily traders in the past, and many of their customers may be nations like Iran and Syria that may not cooperate with U.N. sanctions.

Much of the freight can also be transported by plane, and one of the North’s most prized products — technical nuclear know-how — is safe in the minds, hard drives and brief cases of their scientists who can travel without restrictions and transfer their knowledge in person.

I’m sorry, perhaps I should state my position on the North Korea situation: Bomb. Their. Shit. Maybe by now it would be too little, too late, but I’ll never understand the logic behind watching lunatics develop bigger and bigger missiles and more and more nuclear facilities.

Change we can believe in, if we really insist on being that stupid.

Little by little this administration is turning things around. We’re going to kill ourselves our enemies with kindness!

Can’t you picture it? Some raging Imam in Riyadh or Peshawar or Detroit is halfway through a rant shrieking for “Death to the Great Satan!” and the guy in the third row stands up to say, “Actually, America treats Arab fighters dressed like civilians as if they were covered by the Geneva Conventions, and even reads them Miranda rights! It’s like they think jihadists captured overseas deserve the same protections as American citizens!” The audience laughs off their former grumpiness, then they take the Rabbi across the street to the local Ben & Jerry’s to watch the weekly Obama Success Hour on ABC, NBC, CBS, MSNBC, CNN, or HLN.

WASHINGTON (AP) — President Barack Obama promised Monday to deliver more than 600,000 jobs through his $787 billion stimulus plan this summer, with federal agencies pumping billions into public works projects, schools and summer youth programs.

Obama is ramping up his stimulus program this week even as his advisers are ramping down expectations about when the spending plan will effect a continuing rise in the nation’s unemployment.

Note the word I’ve taken the liberty of  highlighting in bold. I do not think that word means what the Associated Press thinks it means. I expect President Obama’s spending to have the long-term effect of additional unemployment. I doubt any Associated Press columnist expects the same.

Correct usage would be, “Obama is ramping up his unicorn improvement plan even as advisers downplay whether the Mystical Flying Horse Package will affect the nonexistence of mystical flying horses.”

“America and Islam are not exclusive,” he said, “and need not be in competition. Instead, they overlap, and share common principles of justice and progress, tolerance and the dignity of all human beings.”

All the right people are taking notice of the pretty things President Obama says and the pretty ways he says them.

“There is a change between the language of President Obama and previous speeches made by George Bush,” said Fawzi Barhoum, a spokesman for Hamas.

This from a Hamas representative. Hamas, whose charter includes such gems as “Allah is its target, the Prophet is its model, the Koran its constitution: Jihad is its path and death for the sake of Allah is the loftiest of its wishes.”

Golly, this Barack character must be a top-notch thinker, if he can warm the cockles of even a Hamas spokesman’s heart. Whereas famous quotes from President Bush include*, “There ain’t no Muslims in Am-uhr-ica,” and “We’s gonna bomb them thar Islamics,” President Obama is a beacon of enlightenment for his countrymen. Being a Muslim is not the same as being a terrorist! Not all Muslims participate in or condone violence as a means of enacting sharia law!

Now that we’ve worked those things out, it’s just a matter of getting the jerk-bag Israelis to quit whining about “Muslim extremists” suicide bombing their “women” and “children.” Why, just because the Palestinians have used every new piece of land as additional rocket launching ground, the Israelis think they have a right to stop giving Palestinians land!

But as he presses Netanyahu for concessions, Obama has to be looking over his shoulder toward the powerful Israeli lobby in the United States and the many deeply conservative Christian organizations that back Israeli policy without question.

Emphasis mine. Doggone Christians, supporting The Jews (cue scary music) without thought or hesitation. They could learn something from the populations of the world’s free, competitive, advanced Muslim countries!

* Oh wait, President Bush mostly said the same things President Obama is saying, minus the constant preening about how magnificently multicultural he was for saying them.