Here you go, the long awaited second installment to our new groundbreaking web comic!  Just click on the ‘teaser’ below to be magically transported (via the interwebs) directly into the lives of our three heroes!  As always, we hope you enjoy.

And now it’s just a matter of whose face gets kicked in first. Somehow Reuters can take even a Chuck Norris filler news item and put a ridiculous spin on it. From “Chuck Norris is the only WMD in Iraq, say U.S. troops,” which was one of the top stories listed at Yahoo! news Monday:

Known as Chuck Norris “facts,” the claims have already become an Internet phenomenon, and scores are featured on www.chucknorrisfacts.com, including “Superman wears Chuck Norris pyjamas,” and “There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.”

If you can read, as the Reuters stringer apparently cannot, it’s obvious that the dweeby Chuck Norris fansite is the source of the WMD quote, not the soldiers quoted elsewhere in the story. Nonetheless, whoever gave this little gem a headline felt it was accurate to say that American troops think WMDs in Iraq is just another Chuck Norris joke.

Assuming IMDB.com’s bio can be trusted, also on Monday Chuck Norris turned 68. Sixty eight! I would have guessed he was in his mid-50s, but no matter; those America-hatin’ hippies had better get a head start and go into hiding until Chuck’s an octogenarian, at the very least.

“I sure do love suicide bombings. Oh, and young men. Mmmm, young men.”

I saw some tool on campus wearing a kaffiyeh today. Second time in as many weeks I’ve noticed a guy wearing the symbol of the two-faced Palestinian suicide cult — and I don’t leave my office all that often. I know full well that cataloging examples of clueless leftism on a large college campus would be an exhausting task, and it’s not one I plan to undertake. But come on, people. Israel is better than Palestine, and that is a demonstrable fact unless you love people whose claims to fame are losing a war 40 years ago and celebrating the murder of civilians.

Nice scarf, though. Idiots. Dead terrorist photo copyright Time.

Preface and Moral of the Story: Never eat a whole pizza and watch three hours of The Science Channel before bed. I recommend, however, watching The Science Channel in general - How It’s Made and Build It Bigger in particular. Gah! I tried to find a link for Build It Bigger and it seems to have vanished at some point in the last 6 hours. This night keeps right on getting worse.

I had a dream just now that I’d purchased my sisters and I season tickets to… something. We were waiting in the gym of our high school to be called up to the stage to pick up our tickets. Only when I got to the stage did I notice I hadn’t been given the ticket I needed to claim my ticket. Which really, seems to me like something that the high school gymnasium season ticket distribution company is to blame for.

Apparently this ticket-claiming ticket was the only shred of evidence I had to prove that I’d bought my season tickets (to, again, something of indeterminate nature). The “powers that be” refuse to give me a ticket, and I throw a fit, and some guy from work figures out a loophole for me to claim my tickets. Isn’t it funny how idiotic things make sense in a dream? I can’t remember the details, so I’ll give my subconscious the benefit of the doubt. Which, in this context, I have to say it probably doesn’t deserve.

The dream ends with me making a fast getaway from who I’m pretty sure was Kathy Bates, and my sisters are with me in my car, and my door won’t shut. Not only that, I’ve lost control of the steering and the brakes! Yet somehow the accelerator still works, and I continue pressing it. It’s alarming the number of my dreams that end this way. This one, though, has a fun twist: we crash relatively unharmed, and I’m telling the OnStar rep we’re ok (does my car have OnStar? of course not), and then I’m out of the car listening to the OnStar rep say she might be able to get me hazard pay. Even in the dream this made no sense to me, but as she’s saying it I look back at the car and it starts smoking — except now, instead of a car, it’s a single-prop airplane. Made of cardboard. Last thing I remember, I’m pulling apart pieces of the plane so it doesn’t all burn up.. “for evidence.” And then I woke up face-down, with both of my arms asleep at the shoulder.

Here is the moment I’m sure you have all been waiting for, we are finished with the first installment of our brand new web comic. Just click on the thumbnail below to see it. Enjoy!

It would appear I am a bungly dufus, what with my image below being giant and a thumbnail to itself. Curse my incompetence.

[Updated by hart] Don’t worry Bungly Pete, fixed it. You also misspelled “doofus” and I refuse to correct it! Buwahaha!

[Updated by coffing] “Dufus” is a perfectly acceptable way to spell that word.  It would seem you need an updated dictionary!

We are getting alarmingly close to posting the first installment of our new web comic “Simply Heroic.” We seem to have most of the issues ironed out at this point, so you will most likely see something within the week. Neither one of us is a professional at this by any means, but hopefully you don’t hold that against us too much. We hope you enjoy it. Here’s a little ad that I made real quick just for fun, think of it as a preview of sorts.